Parenting insights from the physio table
Yesterday, I had my first physiotherapy session. It was a fascinating experience that covered various topics, including shifts in parenting over the years. The therapist guided me through the session, applying pressure to my shoulder and the latissimus dorsi muscle as we spoke about my experience as a parent, moving from a traditional "parenting" role toward more of a "caregiving" approach.
Despite the age difference between my conversation partner (around 40) and myself (47), we shared similar memories of growing up in the '80s and '90s and how things have changed. We discussed how parenting styles have evolved; parents today seem more like caregivers than authority figures, focusing on supporting their children rather than strictly guiding them.
This change feels like part of a broader social contract involving both parents and teachers. Nowadays, many parents demand more but expect teachers to focus solely on education. In theory, this leaves the family responsible for child-rearing, limiting the role of educators and other community members in shaping the next generation.
In the past, child-rearing was a communal effort. Teachers were seen as disciplinarians, and it was socially acceptable for them to correct students. This dynamic made discipline easier to enforce at home, too. Both sides—family and school—played complementary roles in developing young people into responsible adults.
Today, it feels like we're involved more in caregiving than parenting. In the language of Eric Berne's transactional analysis, we skip from "parent-child" interactions to "adult-adult" ones, missing crucial stages that foster personal growth. Children are more aware of their rights, yet it’s increasingly difficult to enforce family rules as our parents and grandparents once did.
As a result, many young adults enter the world with a strong sense of personal rights but a limited understanding of sacrifice and discipline. These qualities, once central to family life, are fading, raising questions about the long-term impact of this cultural shift on future generations.